Podcast

Office Hours with Dr. Lacy: Execute. Execute. Execute.

Execute. Execute. Execute.

Office Hours With Dr. Lacy



Transcript of Episode:

Welcome to "Office Hours with Dr. Lacy". Hi, I'm Dr. Lacy, your Dissertation Strategist, where I help doctoral students finish their qualitative dissertations so that they can graduate and successfully become Doctor. Let's get started with this week's episode. Guess what? I am hosting my very first writing retreat in November. It's gonna be at home in Chicago and I'm inviting a few friends along for a beautiful, productive, rejuvenating writing retreat right before the holiday. So we are going to meet meeting in Chicago November 24th so this one is seven, four days, three nights of writing, scholarly pursuits, whatever that may be. Fun we are going to be talking about, so like for your scholarly self we're going to be talking about best ways of organizing yourself, how to make a realistic schedule and a realistic routes mean you're going to have some time to get some eyes and your writings. It really help you flesh out those ideas. Have a really solid plan for not only getting a significant rise in bed at the retreat. So cause there was nothing more I find annoying that we go to in the Bay. You're out, you're all excited and you're motivated and you're like, get them to do all the things and then you go home and you're like, I don't even know how to take the next step. So we're going to make sure that when you leave, you know what to do. Plus, you know, I don't like, I can't just sit there and just work, you know, that's not my emo. So while we will have 20 hours dedicated to solid writing time, we will also have time to talk about things that are happening outside of writing. Like how do you keep your motivation, how do you stay productive, how do you manage your chair and your committee and keep everybody on schedule and on the same page, how do you manage your own selves to that, you know, you can continue to show up and go after your doubles. Plus so much more. Breakfast and lunch is included in the price and we have three different options for packages available. So please, please, please go over to marvettelacy.com. Either you're going to click the red button at the top right corner and it says work with me. And there you will find all the information about the writing retreat. I'm so excited. I have so many surprises And we already have people signed up and so please don't miss out. I would hate for you to miss out. Just gone over to the website or you can DM me on Instagram and we can talk there and I can tell you more about it, but please don't miss out. All right, we're going to get onto today's episode. Oh, okay. Welcome back to week three. [inaudible] I'm going to try to make this fast because I'm not feeling well and my congestion and starting to overtake my throat and everything. But this week, which is a perfect segue this week is about execution, is the name of the game. And I said it's a perfect segue because I don't feel good and I just want to go lay back down cause I think I tried to do too much today. But I said I was wanting to do these episodes and it's about executing. And I know that this is going to be a few minutes. And then I get to lay down after that and I get to keep the, with my words and myself. And that's really what I want to talk about today, about the, like many of us are great at making plans and I'm saying all the things that we want to do and daydreaming about that and you know, scheduling it down in our paper planner and all I'm planning is like how exactly we're going to do it and how much time we're gonna spend on it. And then we don't put that same energy into executing, to showing up day after day when it gets difficult or tedious. We don't put the same energy into it and we don't execute. And that is a difference between people who have PhDs and people who don't. Are you executing? Like the people who give up, they didn't execute. And so [inaudible] we're going to be talking about how to execute today. I was thinking back when I was working on my dissertation and how I got really into planners. I'm not quite sure all the way how I got there. I think I saw one video on YouTube and then it went, it went down a rabbit hole and then I had a friend who was also into planners and we just got so into it. I think she, I mean she's still into it. I don't think it's the same as it was when we were writing dissertations. But we would like, I mean at least three, four times a week, I'm not exaggerating. We would go to like Michael's or Joanne's and buy all the planner supplies. I had so many planners, I had a planner for like writing my like dissertation. I had a planner for working out. I had a planner for class cause I was sick like one or two classes. I had a planner for self care and I even at one point I think I had a planner for like what my future life would look like cause I was about, I was about other things and I would decorate all of these planners each Sunday got to the, I'm side recording YouTube videos about it, but I'm, I would decorate it like full washi tape full of stickers. Cause you know me, it's not even, I can't do it a little bit. I didn't do any all the way. And I would do that. Like I'll spend hours decorating my planner. It was just like for me, it was my way of having stuff cares what I thought and plus what's happening. Say, organize, right? Yeah. W I was spending all this time making this pretty planned for the league and how's going get all these things done in different areas of my life. I also had like a business planning, cause I was starting a business in the middle of a dissertation. Who does that? I do. Well I had all these ideas of black clothes. I was gonna write everything in hours and hours on Sunday, only to get to Friday and Saturday and realize I may have done 25%, if that of what I said I was going to do. And so then I would feel like a failure. I feel like yeah. Bottom of like that's inappropriate. I would feel like yeah, like I just didn't do, I gave up. I didn't do it enough. All right. I took the easy way out. And then I would go and, and recommit myself for the next week and spend another three hours on Sunday. And like this week I'm serious. And you know, I created a whole cycle after psycho. And y'all, that's not true. And the funny part, I do like know that next week, so at the time of this recording, the following, we're in October and the following week I'm letting to be going to Austin, Texas with my sister in law to go to the Aaron Condron headquarters in Kadra. It makes the life planners kind of like one of the original, not original, but like one of the main people are the first people to really get big in this planner world and these planners can, I don't know, I felt like they range from like 50 to like all the way up to like two, $300, like depending on how you customize it and what you get. But anyway let's just, and I was really excited. I said I'm going to go with her to see it and I'm going to record it because I'm just really curious. But anyway, I'll let you know how it goes. Anyway, bags of my plan and story. Hey girl, the ones that come in the middle of this episode until you about my 90 day challenge. Yes. The last 90 days. How do we finish this year strong? So if you're familiar or Rachel Hollis, she does the last 90 days challenge and I decided to do my own version of that. And so I'm here to have all of my scholar friends make the last 90 days the best 90 days of 2019 all you have to do is come on over to the website, my bet at Lacey's dot com. Scroll all the way down to the bottom and you will see a button there for you to sign up. There should also be a button at the top of the page, but just in case you don't see it, it's there. And you are, you're on a sign up and you're going to get emails. And what I'm doing is sitting folks, an email every week full of motivation and a challenge for them to do every week in this challenge takes no time. Like it's asking you to take an hour for yourself in. Listen, if you don't have it, Howard, a day for yourself, like Rachel says, do you even have a life? So yes, that's where we're going to be doing for the 90 days. It's not too late to sign up. It's never too late to start going towards your dream. So please come on over to the website, sign up and let's get back to the episode. I mean, I spent so much money on stickers and washy and when I moved from Georgia after I graduated, I had at least three boxes, like large boxes. We're talking of planner stuff and supplies. And that was just ridiculous. And it wasn't until I transition into my job in Milwaukee that I realized I was using all of this planners stuff. As a form of procrastination. Like in my mind I thought I was doing something to help me be more productive and work smarter and to use the, I have the best use of my time to save you time in the end. But really it just ended up being hours and hours of procrastination. Me spending money I did not have on stuff that I did and I need. And it wasn't until I started doing things and executed on things that I saw a change in my level of productivity, a change in my wallet, a change in like the amount of time I had. And I also had to like stop at one point and just work. So I was a executing his wife finished that dissertation of four months executing and that's why I was able to grow my business so quickly and is best two years because they became stop planning and start doing sure you need a plan because you need to know that the direction you're going in. But there's no way you can figure that out in your head. You cannot account for everything that's going to happen and how that plan is going to need to change and shift or how life is going to come at you because you can't do the future. And so at some point you just got to do it some point you just got to start. So how do you execute? First you have to make the decision that you're going to do whatever the thing is. So if your goal is I'm graduating in may, make the decision and be done with it, stop going back and forth about a chapter in may or should I aim sorry about that. Should I do it in may or should I do it in August or maybe I December, I don't know. Let me go ask someone and stuff. Let me go talk to 10,000 people about it. No, make a decision, make a decision and try it on for 30 days and then evaluate to see how that's going. But you gone back and forth and spending all this time, it's you indulging in this indecision because you don't want to do the actual hard work that it takes to actually do the thing. So the first thing is to make the decision and stop saying things like, it's saving me time or I'm saving myself on the backend. You're not, you're wasting time. That's what you're doing. So make the decision is the first thing. The second thing is your top three. We're going back to the basics here every day you should have a top three. I would go further to say you should have a top three for the week and a top three for the month and even it's after for the year, but at the very least every day, top three, top three cause especially the times when I'm like, I just don't feel like it. I'm tired today when I wake up I have to do my top three. These are three things I'm getting done. It guides you, it gives you a clear plan of this is what you need to do. And when you finish those types of three things, you feel so accomplished and everything else is just icing on the cake and you just had three. Each items should take less than 20 minutes to do. So we're really talking about an hour of your day to do these things. And listen sometimes on my top three is to take a shower, brush my teeth and drink my water. We're not trying to like, you know, I dunno, reinvent the wheel. Sometimes it is that simple. Now. Other days it's more productively not per Deb because I feel like brushing your teeth is protective, but you get what I'm saying like some days is more complex things I should say, but having a top three. So first make a decision. Second habit top three. The third thing is your morning routine. Your success is in your routine. So if you're in this Langley day challenge, follow the basics in the morning. That's your morning routine and the basics are you wake up, you have an hour for yourself. That's your routine. You drink at least 64 ounces of water. You move for 10 minutes, you write for 10 minutes and you write your top three. That should take you about an hour or less. But if you don't have an hour for yourself, that's, that's ridiculous. Rachel, how this is like you don't have a hour for yourself. You don't have a life. I believe that an hour for yourself, your morning routine, if you start your day off giving to yourself everything else, it puts everything else in perspective. Everything else will get that. Everything else will fall into place. You not at you has your back enough in that day to give yourself an hour to set yourself up properly so that you can face today and things are not just happening to you that you're more intentional about what's going on in your day. And then the fourth thing is you have to evaluate your progress. What you measure grows. Isn't that the saying or something like that. And we're talking about something really simple. So at the end of the day, and if you have my daily planning sheets, then you would do this too. But essentially if you don't, you just wanna at the end of the year, end of your day or at the next day, during your morning routine, you want to ask yourself, what did I say I was wanting to do? Which is your top three? Did I do what I say I would do? Did you do your top three? Why or why not? And then what can I do differently tomorrow or next week or next year depending on when you're doing this, this evaluation, because you should be evaluating every day, every week, every month, every year. But at the minimum, evaluating your day, what did you say you were going to do? Did you do what you say you were going to do and what can you do differently the next day? Answering those questions, we're talking two to five minutes, but it makes all the difference in, holds you accountable to yourself. It helps you to start to see things or areas where you may need a little bit more assistance in and you can go ask for help for the thing you actually need help with instead of vomiting words on to someone and they have to try to figure out what it is that you need help with. This helps keep you organized. And then the fifth thing is to rest and repeat. Taking some time for yourself. Yes, but not too long, but going back up. So the first thing of making the decision, writing out your top three, doing your morning routine and evaluating your progress, doing this every day, day in and day out, we'll take you so much further than you try and sit down and liking, getting the washy tape out and the stickers and all the planners and like what needs to go here and what needs to go there. Keep it simple. What is it that you want to do? Make decision to do it right. Your top three every day to get you closer to that. Go have a morning routine, evaluate your progress, rest and repeat. And that is all because I used to buy chest is like on fire. So if you need this and that printable sign up for the 90 day challenge and that will come to your inbox. Be curious to know what your thoughts are about today's episode. You can let me know on Instagram, mr Lacy or in the Facebook group, cos scholars. And then yeah, I'll be hanging out with the people in you. And yet that is it for today. I'm going to go yeah, because I'm all over the place. Do something to show yourself some love and until next time I will talk to you later. Bye for now. Hey SIS, how is your productivity going? No, for real. It's just you. I mean like tell me how is your productivity going? You feel like you're getting a lot done in a week or do you feel like you're just doing a lot in a lie and you're feeling burnt out? Still a little bit lonely, wishing you had people who were just as dedicated as you are and the assistant as you are to showing up week after week to get things done. Then you have to join right away. Right away is my weekly accountability group where we had people just like you showing up every week to get it done. We meet on Sundays and Wednesdays are three hours each. You can choose to come either Sunday or Wednesday or both. You can come in for some time. We ask that people stay for the whole time, but we also know like life is real, life happens and sometimes you have other things to do. And so we have people who come in for maybe the first 30 minutes and then they leave when they come back. It is there for you. It is there as a community of people to encourage you to support you. It is there to keep you accountable to what you say you're going to do week after week in class. We are always like holding each other down. We are supporting each other. We celebrate the small wins that like your family and friends don't get. Like I don't understand why it might have been exciting for you to find the perfect methodology or that perfect article that explains exactly what it is that you want to do for your dissertation. That's not us. We do that. Well you, we're here to celebrate with you and then when you need someone to help keep you together, like call you to the carpet. We're there to, to do that. So come to the website, check us out. Enjoy. Now. you can go to my vet, like see back, calm. Click the red button in the top right corner, work with me, and you'll find all the information that you need there. I love this group. We've been going for almost a year now. You definitely, definitely should join.

Office Hours with Dr. Lacy: Get Your Team Together

Get Your Team Together

Office Hours With Dr. Lacy



Transcript of Episode:

Welcome to "Office Hours with Dr. Lacy”. Hi, I'm Dr. Lacy, your Dissertation Strategist, where I help doctoral students finish their qualitative visitations so that they can graduate and successfully become Doctor. Let's get started with this week's episode. Guess what? I am hosting my very first writing retreat in November with Jen and be at home in Chicago and I don't know, guiding a few friends along for a beautiful protective rejuvenating writing retreat right before the holiday. So we are gonna meet meeting in Chicago November 24th, so this one is seven, four days, three nights of writing, scholarly pursuits, whatever that may be. Um, um, fun we are going to be talking about, so like for your scholarly self, we're going to be talking about best ways of organizing yourself, how to make a realistic schedule and a realistic routine. We're going to have some time to get some eyes and you're writing to really help you flesh out those ideas. Have a really solid plan for not only getting a significant writing bed at the retreat cause there was nothing more. I find it annoying that we go to in the bank. You're out, you're all excited and you're motivated, you're like get them to do all the things and you go home and you're like, I don't even know how to take the next step. So we're going to make sure that when you leave, we know what to do. Plus, you know, I don't like, I can't just sit there and just work, you know, that's not my emo. So while we will have 20 hours dedicated to solid writing time, we will also have time to talk about things that are happening outside of writing. Like how do you keep your motivation, how do you stay productive, how do you manage your chair and your committee and keep everybody on schedule and on the same page, how do you manage your own selves that you know you can continue to show up and go after your doubles. Plus so much more. Um, breakfast and lunch is included in the price and we have three different actions for packages available. So please, please, please go over to marvettelacy.com. Then you're going to click the red button at the top right corner and it says work with me. And there you will find all the information about the writing retreat. I'm so excited. I have so many surprises planned. We already have people signed up and so please don't miss out. I would hate for you to miss out. Just gone over to the website or you can DM me on Instagram and we can talk there and I can tell you more about it, but please don't miss out. All right, we're going to get on to today's episode. Welcome to week two of this 90 day challenge. And today's episode is all about getting your team right. Now. Last week we talked about the basics in the foundation of this challenge and beyond this challenge. These are the basics as a scholar, as a person, that she, you should be committed to. Um, if you haven't had a chance to listen to that episode, please go back and listen to that episode. Um, and sign up even for the challenge so you can get the printables and stuff. Um, to make this challenge easy so we can finish the last 90 days shrunk. But today's episode is about your team, your team of people. So if you don't know, um, I am an avid YouTube watcher. I love, love, love YouTube. Like I watch you two more than TV. People are, uh, out here talking about shows and things and I have no idea what they're talking about. But I know YouTube burstow and this is something, wow. I mean, I've been doing this for YouTube has been my thing for 10 years now. Like it's my main source of entertainment. But anyway, um, if you are familiar and when you go to the homepage of YouTube, they're usually recommendations for you, um, to watch and based on like your watch history or things that Google just thinks you may be interested in because Google knows your whole life. At least he knows my whole life, my whole business and life is on Google. Um, and one person popped up, um, Indian, it was a black woman and she had a really, really low haircut, like not even lower than like a fade. And she just looked beautiful. Melania's Papyrus, she was real snatch. She had on his dress and there was a Ted talk Indians. I don't know about you. I mean, I know things are changing, but when I first saw this video, I didn't see many videos with folks of color, especially black women doing Ted talks. And I mean like Ted talks, like with the regular, like Ted talk on the, um, screen. But it was Stacey flowers, um, and her talk, which I think is like how to be happy. Let me get the right title for you because you know, I don't want to be butchering this cause this is a, this is really important. Um, but yeah, she was essentially talking about how to be happy and how she was working towards goals and, um, what she has found to be the most helpful in her achieving her goals and happiness. Um, it's called how to be happy. Ted talk, excuse me, the five key people you need. Um, and I'm going to get it together. This, this word is trying to see, it's taking me out. But anyway, she talks about the five people you need. But before I just want to let you know, um, I watched this video and then I went down a whole rabbit hole because she has a YouTube channel that she puts out videos just documenting her life. So she lives in Chicago, she's a speaker, so she's traveling around and doing that. And she's also starting to branch out in other areas of her business, helping other people with their business, helping people become speakers, um, helping people with debt management, money management, and she's chronicling her life of, uh, focusing on her health, being really dedicated to her health. Um, so getting a personal trainer, eating, changing her diet, going to see a therapist, working with her coach, and you get to see like her, like coaching other clients, things of that nature. Um, she is following the day for him. So you plan to get out of debt. Um, it was about $200,000 in debt and she's been working through it, like killing it and she works part time. She works roughly 25 hours a week. Um, and she has, um, a very, I think he's grown. It's like not grown, but like if 17, 18 year old son, um, I've known C I know all her life because I've been watching the videos. But anyway, I've give you that background so you can have a little bit information about who she is. Um, and share my joy to, um, of like this wonderful woman. So I definitely will link it in the show notes and you should definitely check out her in his Ted talk, um, because it's hops about the people you need on your team. Um, and so I used to get it done framework and my business and essentially to get it done framework says that you need three main things to finish your dissertation. You need systems like our routine, a schedule, like a playing in things that you do consistently on a daily basis that guide you, um, to towards achieving your goals. You need mindset because that's what is really preventing us from getting to our goals and writing. You need a way to like work on that every day to remind yourself why you're doing what you're doing. And the third thing is you need community. And I'm really big on building community because that is really what takes people out in this dissertation game of you started to feel isolated. You don't have people around you. People start to be at different levels, especially if you're in like a cohort or something. Um, and I know the power of community and people how that helped me to finish my dissertation in four minutes. And so I'm always telling people that you need to get you some people. Um, I, that's why I have my writing group right away. That's why I have Facebook groups. Cause I know the power of people also want to make a side note y'all. So this new place where I live is very, very loud. And so you may hear cars and things on being picked up out of microphone. But I literally hear this all over my apartment and there's nowhere for me to go. And so we're just going to enjoy the silence of this city. And this pack has from now on until I find another solution. Okay. And up side note. But yes, back to Stacy. So she has this Ted talk and she talks about five people that you need. Um, you know, the chief for it goes with being happy. The first person is the cheerleader. So they cheer you on when you cannot cheer yourself on. They are your, they're your pep squad or your people in the corner. Like they don't quite understand what it is that you do or why you doing this or like why you still in school, but they love you and they went and see you when, cause while they don't quite understand what it is, they know that it's big. They know that it's important for you to do this goal to become a doctor. They also know and can see probably more than you that this is this, you getting this PhD or you achieving this goal. Sure it has something to do with you. But at the same time has nothing to do with you. Like you're doing it for your family, for your friends you're doing for all the people who are watching you that you'll never realize are watching you. And they know that their job and their role is to just cheer you on and keep you going. They don't have to understand it and I'll have to get the nitty gritty details. They just have to cheer you on. And that's what they do. They give you encouragement, they tell you you can do it. They may listen to you and again, they may not get it, but they're still like, but you can do it like they know without a doubt that you can do it. This is the person that you want to talk to or call or text when you're like [inaudible] you know this degree they can have it. Cause I have other ones. I don't mean this one. That's who you call when you, when you need some sense of like motivation. Um, and I think about this, like when I was trying to figure out who was going to be on my dissertation committee, I was, I, it is important that I have somebody who is really supportive and encouraging and that they don't have to get my methodology or my research. They just gotta be encouraging. It's gotta be happy. Um, and the person I had was name is Dr. Dunn and if you know her, you, I mean, you, people instantly melt when you hear her name. Like you just, you just feel like safe and like everything's gonna be OK. sure. It as a fire all around me, but she said it's gonna be okay, so it's going to be okay. And, um, she's, she's been doing this for years. Yeah. Like it's not like she's brand new or anything. Like she gets it, she knows the process. She's helped tons and tons of doc students finish. But her main thing for me that I was, I just, I just need to know that if I look at her and I'm about to freak out or I'm just not, I'm not doing well. I know she's my cheerleader. So who are your committee or in your circle or then this process is going to be your cheerleader. I had other cheerleaders as well. I wanted to share that example because a lot of times we think that your committee has to be this rigid idea and that you can't be more intentional about how you select committee members. Now I get that like politics are real and some programs have some very strict rules, but if you can, if there is some room for you to have a cheerleader on your committee, I'm telling you, it makes a huge difference. A huge difference. Okay. The second person is a mentor. They point you in the right direction. I like to think of this person as your advisor or your chair. Now I'm gonna get to the wrestling and be like, shouldn't my chair be all these things? No, no. Your chair cannot be all things for you. They cannot, they cannot do all the things they have other people they have other other tasks they got, they got lives, they got busy schedule. You my friend are very, very, very small part of their life or what's on their plate and they can't be all things for you nor did you ever expect anyone to be all things for you. That's a lot of pressure and very unrealistic. You can't even be all things to one person. And if you are, I'm sure the way your life has looking, we need to talk, Hey girl, the ones who come in the middle of this episode and tell you about my 90 day challenge. Yes, the last 90 days. How do we finish this year strong. So if you're familiar with Rachel Hollis, she does the last 90 days challenge. And I decided to do my own version of that. And so I'm here to help all of my scholar friends make the last 90 days the best 90 days of 2019 all you had to do is come on over to the website, my vet, Lacey's dot com. Scroll all the way down to the bottom. You will see a button there for you to sign up. There should also be a button at the top of the page, but just in case you don't see it, it's there. Um, and you're, you're on a sign up and you're going to get emails. And what I'm doing is singing folks an email every week full of motivation and a challenge for them to do every week in this challenge takes no time. Like it's asking you to take an hour for yourself in listen, if you don't have it, how every day for yourself, like Rachel says, do you even have a life? So yes, that's where we, we're going to be delivered at 90 days. It's not too late to sign up. It's never too late to start going towards your dream. So please come on over to the website, sign up and let's get back to the episodes. Okay, back. So your mentor or your advisor there pointing in your right direction, you tell them like here's look, I'm a finish this dissertation and may here's my plan to do this. This is what I came up with on my on like what feedback that you have from me. And they're there to give you like advisement. Like they're there to like listen to you and very like overall big picture, here's what you need to do, here's the direction you should be going into. But they are not the ones there to like give you step by step instruction of how to get there. And this is probably one of the biggest mistakes or I don't know, misconceptions that I see with doc students with clients that they think that their chair, their advisors as opposed to sit down with them and walk them through step to step. Again, nobody has the time to do that and it's not that they don't care. Maybe I don't care, but like it's not about you personally. It's if they don't have the time to do that at tops, you should have 15 to 30 minutes with them just to tell them what it is that you're doing and them to give you the advice that you need to move forward. Again, they are not there to get into the weeds with you step by step. And if they are doing that with you, that is so much care for you and so much time and labor on their part that they don't have to. I'm going on a tangent. A lot of people think, um, they feel entitled to that their chair has to do this. Their chair needs to sit down and, and as their chairs responsibility, and I'm glad and 10 because now that I've been a chair and advisor, but I see this and when I'm talking with clients, this is what I hear. I hear the sense of entitlement that your chair is supposed to do all these things and they're not, their job is to give you guidance to block other people from acting up on your committee. And to get you to graduating, you, my friend has to do all the other work. You have to figure out the step by step. You have to learn. It's a learning process now. It's not that there are keeping you like leaving you out there to dry and maybe if you're having that experience, I'm sad that you are and you still have the um, ability to go get what you need. Okay? So your advisor is just there to give you general advisement advice. They not there to get in the weeds with you. You could because the third person that you need on your team is you're a coach. This is the person who helps you grow by pushing you from your conference zone. This is the person who's in the weeds with you and sense of like they're taking a deeper dive with you to see like, okay, here's the direction that you've set with your, your advisor or your mentor. Here's where you're going. Okay, let's develop a plan to get you there. A more step by step plan. Your coach is also the person who would see potentially pitfalls or where you may get stuck and their job is to come in at those moments and push you past those moments where you get stuck and you're not gonna like them. Cause it's going to be uncomfortable. You're not going to want to do it. But that's what your coach's job is to get you into explain and to be the in between of you have this goal, this is what your chair said. Your coach comes in to do this. And people like, I can't afford a coach. It doesn't have to be a formal dissertation coach. But do you have someone who maybe they just ratchet it from the program? Somebody who like reached out to you and I was like, you know, you've been talking to, it should not be someone who's in the same, um, on the same level in terms of they're also working on a dissertation. You want someone who has more perspective, who have, they finish their dissertation, they graduate it cause you, you see the process completely different than when you're like after you're done, then when you're in it. So finding someone who just recently graduated, going through the alumni, someone you may know, maybe it's a sister who maybe it wasn't the same program that they did their, um, dissertation, but they understand in general the process. That's who you need. You need someone that you're able to talk through your dissertation where you're struggling for them to be able to push you that you listened to, that you were respect. Um, cause this is, I mean I get it. It's not always about pinging someone, but you do need someone who gives you, who can see the bigger picture and dye you and who can help you in the weeds. Right? So we have cheerleader, we have the mentor, we have the coach. The fourth person is a friend there to hold space and have a place in your heart. So your friend is different than a cheerleader because the cheerleader is just like, yes, you've got this, you've got this, go, go, go. No I don't, I don't understand what's going on. But go, go, go. Whereas your friend is more of, they know you, like they know you, they um, they been with you before you did this journey or maybe you found them during this journey, but they, it's, it's a separate like space that you, the two of you hold together. Um, and you're able to tell them anything. Like you're able to tell them the stuff that you wouldn't dare tale the cheerleader or the mentor or the coach or anyone else for that matter. They'd know your secrets. They know where the bodies are buried, they know everything and you need someone who you can call and just cry and they get it who you can call and be like, I feel like shit today. I suck. And they will all space and listen and encourage you. You need that. Um, or that person who needs I, who pulls you out of your bubble. Cause you know we get into our academic bubbles and we started using all this jargon and words and analyzing everything you need that person who's going to bring you back down like remember where you came from. Remember your family and friends, remember to take care of yourself. Your friend is probably the one like sending you food or reminders to shower cause you know, depending on where you are, I mean things get real and this person, they, they care about you on a deeper level is all I'm saying. I just said use other people, don't care. But your friend was there to hold space for you in with you. And the fifth person is a peer. Now your peers, someone who's in your field who is writing a dissertation with you, maybe they're in your program or close enough but at the same place with you. I'm working on things and they keep you keep your head in the game. Like they keep you on your heels so to speak. So when I had to finish my dissertation in four months, my peer would have been Dr. John Collier. We both had this four month timeline. We had to graduate and we had to collect data, analyze, write and defend. In four months we were doing it together. So that meant most days we were writing together. We helped each other in our dissertation processes, like serving as a peer researcher. Um, like w we wrote together and yes, we checked in on each other, we made sure that we kept each other going. And it is like trying to do this by yourself is the slowest way to do this. When you have someone that you know, you have to show up where you know they're showing up also, it is different and you help each other grow. You help each other grow. Um, so I, I mean I may, we need to do a different podcast episode about how that process went, but this is invaluable. And even now, today, like are business for example, I have peers, I have a group of people that I'm, I'm in a program with. I have a smaller group and I also have my core people that I like, look, this is what happened. This is what I'm trying to do. Where you think, Oh, I see how they're showing up on like Instagram or like seeing what they're doing in their business. And it's not about me like comparing myself, but it like inspires me. Like, Oh, she's winning. Why she did this? Let me try it. And to know that I can go and like talk to them and be like, why didn't you do it that way? Let's talk this out. How I can use it. I'm T I have grown so much, um, in my business because I have a peer group and because I have these five people, so, um, that is my take on the five people you need to get your team. Right. Um, I definitely think you should go watch the video because, you know, I might be butchering a little bit, but that's my own remix on it. Um, I will caution you though, where I see a lot of people get caught up is that they have too many people as their mentors and their coaches, um, even peers to a certain extent. But really when you think about a mentor advisor, when you are, when you constantly are going to people for advice and you're like, look at this, look at this, and people like you asked by people for their feedback on your dissertation, you're gonna get five different responses and you are doing it because you were trying to understand and not be confused, but that's going to confuse you even more because there's no way for you to follow five different sets of advice. This advice, I don't know the poor form of that. Um, but there is no way for you to do that. Like, so I really say that you should have like one main like mentor advisor two at the most because again, it's, it's difficult when you have all these voices telling you to do things and then you're like, I don't know what to do. And then for your coach, the same thing, one or two people who are helping you get out of the weeds. Again, you're trying to, if you're trying to follow the advice of too many people, it just leads to confusion. And then when people have too many peers, um, you can get caught in the comparison game cause you can start feeling like I'm behind. I'm not doing what I'm supposed to do. Everybody is so much farther than I am. [inaudible] again, one to two people because you need a small like tight [inaudible] that keeps you running and it will be trial and error. Um, you may not get it right or people change and, and they move on and you may have to like, you know, switch people to different roles or maybe switch people in and out. It's not a fixed, rigid, rigid thing. Um, but it's always to be, it's always good to be mindful of who your five people are and evaluating how they're helping you because it's not just about, you also like you're like, Oh, I'm just taking, taking all these people are doing this for me. You're somebodies cheerleader, you're somebody mentor, you're somebody coach. You're somebody who's training you or somebody who's peer. We, I want to encourage you to think about, but what about you? We're good at giving. We can give, give, give, but what? How do you receive? Do you let people in and help you? Do you let people know really what's going on with you or are you so busy trying to be the strong one? This is one step out of that. Thinking about who your inner circle is, thinking about the role that they're playing and if you get to that point in your life, Oh so and so needs to leave, they're not helpful. It's okay to let them go. You can love them from a diff, a distance. You don't have to be mean or like person amount and tell them to get away from you. Ian. They don't always have to have access to your time, your energy, your labor. Okay. I'm going on a soap box. I'm going to stop, but I would be curious to know who are your five people. Lead me, not Instagram at Marvette. Lacy, you can also come on over to the Facebook group. Qual scholars. I would love, love, love to know who your five people are and remember we are in week two of the last 90 days. You can sign up if you're not already signed up and get all the information delivered straight to your inbox. That is all I have for today. Until next time, do something to show yourself some love figuring out your five people and I would talk with you next time. Bye for now. Says how is your productivity going? No, for real. It's just, you mean like tell me how is your productivity going? You feel like you're getting a lot done in a week or do you feel like you're just doing a lot in a lie and you're feeling burnt out? Still a little bit lonely, wishing you had people who were just as dedicated as you are and consistent as you are to showing up week after week to get things done. Then you have to join right away. Right away is my weekly accountability crew where we had people just like you showing up every week to get it done. We meet on Sundays and Wednesdays are three hours each. You can choose to come either Sunday or Wednesday or both. You can come in for some time. Um, we ask that people stay for the whole time but we also know like life is life happens and sometimes you have other things to do and so we have people who come in for maybe the first 30 minutes and then they leave and they come back. It is there for you. It is there as a community of people to encourage you to support you. It is there to keep you accountable to what you say you're gonna do week after week in class. We are always like holding each other down. We are supporting each other. We celebrate the small wins that like your family and friends don't get. Like I don't understand why it might have been exciting for you to find the perfect methodology or that perfect article that explains exactly what it is that you want to do for your dissertation. That's not us. We do that. We you, we're here to celebrate with you and then when you need someone to help keep you together, like call you to the carpet. We're there to, to do that. So come to the website, check us out. Enjoying now you can go to my bed, like see back, calm. Click the red button in the top right corner, work with me and you'll find all the information that you need there. I love this group. We've been going for almost a year now. [inaudible] you definitely, definitely should join.

Office Hours with Dr. Lacy: Follow the Basics

Follow the Basics

Office Hours With Dr. Lacy



Transcript of Episode:

Welcome to “Office Hours with Dr Lacy”. Hi, I'm Dr. Lacy, your dissertation strategist, where I help doctoral students finish their qualitative dissertations so that they can graduate and successfully become a doctor. Let's get started with this week's episode. Guess what? I am hosting my very first writing retreat in November with Jen and be at home in Chicago and I'm inviting a few friends along for a beautiful protective rejuvenating writing retreat right before the holiday. So we are going to meet meeting in Chicago November 24th, so this one is seven, four days, three nights of writing, scholarly pursuits, whatever that may be. Fun we are going to be talking about, so like for your scholarly self, we're going to be talking about best ways of organizing yourself, how to make a realistic schedule and a realistic routine. We're going to have some time to get some eyes and your writing to really help you flesh out those ideas. Have a really solid plan for not only getting a significant writing bent at the retreat because there, there's nothing more I find annoying that we go to in the bang. You're out, you're all excited and you're motivated and you're like, get them to do all the things and you go home and you're like, I don't even know how to take the next step. So we're going to make sure that when you leave, we know what to do. Plus, you know, I don't like, I can't just sit there and just work, you know, that's not my emo. So while we will have 20 hours dedicated to solid writing time, we will also have time to talk about things that are happening outside of writing. Like how do you keep your motivation, how do you stay productive, how do you manage your chair and your committee and keep everybody on schedule and on the same page, how do you manage your own selves that you know you can continue to show up and go after your dulls. Plus so much more breakfast and lunch is included in the price and we have three different options for packages available. So please, please, please go over to marvettelacy.com you think you're going to click the red button at the top right corner and it says work with me. And there you will find all the information about the writing retreat. I'm so excited. I have so many surprises planned. We already have people signed up and so please don't miss out. I would hate for you to miss out. Just go on over to the website or you can DM me on Instagram and we can talk there and I can tell you more about it, but please don't miss out. Alright, we're going to get onto today's episode head low. Coming to you all. The lady from Maryland, I finally made a job. So I'll forget those of you who do not know, I just moved to Maryland because I am, I just took a new position as a postdoc at the university of Maryland college park and I had to move my whole life from Milwaukee to Maryland. So I'm here. I decided, I found a place in Beltsville, Maryland, so to DMV area. I'm settling in. All of my things have finally arrived. I'm slowly doing the whole process of unpacking, but I'm ready for it to be done because I'm just ready for it to be overweight. I'm sure you can relate to anyone who has a recently moved. Yeah. I'm just, you know, just getting used to everything. The driving here is a bit different than what I'm used to. You know, it's not even, I don't even know how to explain it. I don't even have words. People are just doing very strange things and I'm not sure why they're doing it while they're driving. Like, you know, why would you stop in the middle of the road and there is no stop light. You just decided to stop and then make a you tire on a one way. Like it doesn't make sense. Or people are just like switching in and out of lanes, but it's not like it's traffic. You know. Sometimes people do that cause they're trying to like, you know, get there fast or Nope, the roads are clear and people just keep switching from lane to lane with no point. It just seems like everyone is perpetually lost and trying to find their way. But I've just had a hard time believing that everyone was like that. I don't know. Yeah, that is not what this episode is about. Today's episode is about following the basics. Now this is week one, week one for my 90 day challenge. Maybe you are not signed up for the challenge. What are you doing? Sign up. So this is week one and week one we're talking about the basics of what you like. If you don't do anything else, these are the things that you should do. These are the things you should come back to. These are your starting points. These are your anchor. Okay? You will know that. I will not be talking a lot about writing or about like the technical stuff of dissertation and qualitative research for these first for this first month of this challenge because I know that it is not it's not important. Not that it's not like important, but that it comes second to you and how you feel and how you're taking care of you. If you've been around me, if you knew I care more about who you are, how you feel, your health, your wellbeing, then your dissertation is, the Academy would have you thinking that it should be the other way around. But here's the thing, if you don't have you, you don't have your health, you're not, well, there's no way you're going to be doing writing or anything for that matter. Okay? And my, one of my main goals is to re reimagine the possibilities of scholarly pursuits. Just re-imagine what life could be like as a scholar, as a writer, as a student, as a faculty, whatever. Re-Imagine what your life could be in the Academy. It does not have to be this. We overwork ourselves and we're exhausted and we're just going and going and going. Cause for what? Because you're going to look up and you won't have lived a life. Your health will be suffering. You will have all of these conditions because stress is real. And so what I'm going to be introducing this week are very small things, very, very small things that you can do on a daily basis to care for yourself. I'm asking you to take hours and hours. I'm asking you one hour each day, one hour. So moving right in. That is the first basic. You take one hour for yourself, I say in the morning because at least you'd know that your first hour is dedicated to you and then whatever else comes up comes up throughout the day, but it's not hanging over your head. Some people take their first hour and night and their first hour, excuse me, they take their hour at night as like a bedtime routine. But you know how you work best and you know that you're most likely to do, but at the very least, no matter when taking hour for yourself. The second thing is you want to drink at least 64 ounces of water in a day. Some people are like, that's it. Some people are like, Oh, how and where? Listen, what I do, as soon as I wake up, I have a cup of water about, I bet like a 16 ounce cup of boarder by my bed and I put that there at night so that when I wake up I still actually grab for the cup and just Chuck the water. When I do that, when I drink the 16 ounces in the morning, the 64 just happens so effortlessly throughout the day. Because I do 16 ounces in the morning and I do 16 ounces right before I go to bed, that's 32 and now I noticed that I just need 3,200 ounces throughout the day. Another thing that I have adopted to like get this water in, cause I'm all about the routine because the way life is set up now, I need things to happen in a way that I don't have to think about them. And so developing routines have helped immensely with that. So drinking a 16 ounce in the morning, I now try to drink one at lunch, then one before bit that gives me the 48 ounces. And I'll either do the other 16 ounces. Like when I get home from work cause I usually will drink tea or something like that. Or owl. If I go workout that day, I'll do it during a workout, but that ensures that I at least get the 64 ounces. What I like to get more sure and know on those, on those days when I want like more of like filling it, it's great. But on those days when I'm like, Ooh, life is just not it today. That routine of doing it in the morning at lunch when I get off of work and at night helps me get those 64 ounces in. So drink your water. Okay. So that's a second base. Basic. The third one is move for 10 minutes. If you follow me on my instant stories, you'll see that I've put that in there and it's like you have to move for at least 10 minutes now. Been in a new place. I've been more tired. Am I crafting consumption has gone back up. And so the way to get more caffeine is that I tell myself I have to walk to go get it. So from my office there are some stores, there's like a CVS, it's like a coffee shop, there's a McDonald's whatever. And to get to them, those places to get there and back, it's about a 10 minute walk. And so that is the way I like bribed myself on that because I think it's so ridiculous, but that's how I bribed myself to go do my 10 minute walk or when I get home. I live in a very large building, like large, like there are like hundreds of apartments in here. And so I will walk around the hallways while I'm trying to learn the building cause everything looks the same. And then to, because it's so large, I can just keep walking and get my 10 minutes in. And so I'll do that while listening to like a podcast or like watching a video or something like that. So that's what I do for my 10 minutes. But it's important whether that's like exercising, whether that's like yoga, maybe you're moving, it's like turning on some music and dancing. Maybe when you're on fall and you're just circling in your apartment, maybe it's like [inaudible] or just even some light stretching. But the point is to move your body in some way for at least 10 minutes a day and work yourself up after that. But just 10 minutes a day. And then the fifth basic is, no, I've missed something. That was three. Yes, I missed something. I miss four. I'm like that little girl on that video. Have you seen that little that, that video and that girl is I mean she might be like two or three and just her, she's counting with her parents and I think she keeps skipping. Like, I don't know, she keeps skipping like four or five and she keeps skipping a number and I keep trying to walk her through it like one, two, three, four, five, and whatever the numbers, she consistently skips it. It's really cute. I'll try to find it and put it in the show notes, but that's what I just thought about for myself. We are on number four. Let's recap. Number one was second hour for yourself. Number two was drink 64 ounces of water. Number three was moved for 10 minutes and number four is bright for 10 minutes. This is what happens when you, you write notes and then you go out of order. That's what just happened. Okay, so number four is write for 10 minutes. We need to be, I mean you're, I'm sure you've heard people saying to fight every day to develop that habit of writing, to just get your, to get your body in the habit of writing your hands, your mind, whatever. But a lot of times people are not sure what they should be writing. What I tell my clients to do is to pull up a document or they have daily pages, sheets that pull up a document, set a timer for 10 minutes and dumped everything out in your brain. Just brain dump. Any thoughts, all the thoughts to do lists. People you want to talk to, things you should think you should eat or thinking about cooking places you want to go. Maybe some random thoughts about this article you read. Maybe something about a TV show. Just, just write it down. It's not about being perfect is no such thing as if you're doing it right. You're doing it right. If you're writing, typing, whatever that is, just get it all out. Maybe it's like things that you hope for for the future. Things you want to do for your dissertation, things you want to tell your chair, things you want to call your mama and say, I don't know. You just do that for 10 minutes. You just, right, right, right, right, right. The goal then because what, like what will happen is you would get into the habit a few weeks ago by if you're doing this and then your brain will say, Hmm, how can I do this more intentionally? And you may say, I read this article, I'm just going to write about that, or I'm supposed to be working on this section of my dissertation. Let me just use this 10 minutes to write that because now you don't have to worry about getting over the hump of, Oh, I have to sit down and I have to write it. I don't know what I'm writing about. That's done. Cause you've done it already. You've developed a habit. Now your brain can focus on, Oh we do this every day. It's fine, but what if that's how you know? Like what if we started writing about this section? What if we use this time to get ahead and the dissertation and not only will you start to move forward in that, but you'll also notice that that 10 minutes we'll start to expand into 12 and in 1415 1820 next thing you know it's like 60 minutes. Have I interrupted writing time and how productive you will be doing that. That is what the power of writing for 10 minutes and at anytime if you fall off, you just not like, or are you having a stressful day or a busy day? You know, I just need to do this for 10 minutes. Hey girl, the ones that come in the middle of this episode and tell you about my 90 day challenge. Yes, the last 90 days. How do we finish this year strong? So if you're familiar with Rachel Hollis, she does the last 90 days challenge and I decided to do my own version of that. And so I'm here to help all of my scholar friends make the last 90 days the best 90 days of 2019 all you had to do is come on over to the website, my bet, Lacey's dot com scroll all the way down to the bottom and you will see a button there for you to sign up. There should also be a button at the top of the page, but just in case you don't see it, it's there and you are. You're on a sign up and you're going to get emails. And what I'm doing is saying, folks, an email every week full of motivation and a challenge for them to do every week in this challenge takes no time. Like it's asking you to take an hour for yourself in, listen, if you don't have that, how every day for yourself, like Rachel says, do you even have a life? So yes, that's where we are going to be delivered in 90 days. It's not too late to sign up. It's never too late to start going towards your dreams. So please come on over to the website, sign up and let's get back to the episode. That's number four. Number five is execute your top three. You know, if you see it again, follow me on Instagram. Are you following me on Instagram? I'm at Marvette Lacy follow me. I do a top three every day. I do a top three for general in my day in a top three. When I get to work, it helps focus me. Like I know that if nothing else happens, these, these top three things they to happen. My rule is that your top three need to be very small items that take you 20 minutes or less to complete. Because I'm all about, I can find an hour in my work day or even in my regular day to get these things done. And it's usually like, I don't know. Since so-and-so this email, like I think last week one of mine was like, sign up for benefits. Cause I had already done the research and everything. I just need to go online and click some buttons. It was like, Oh, make sure you go get these grocery items from the store. Most people don't take more than less than 20 minutes to go to the store. I do. I don't like it. I don't like going to get the groceries. You've probably heard me on past episodes talk about it. So I have a list. I go in here, I get those things that I'm out. So thinking about for your day, what are your 20 things? Is it to and maybe you put these basics on there. You say, I need to move for 10 minutes, drink 64 ounces of water, right, for 10 minutes. And maybe those are your topics. Three or maybe your top three is I need to email my chair. I mean Sue read this chapter for class and I need to go to the health center and pay my bill. Maybe not sure three things, but taking two minutes to figure out your top three and writing it and focusing on net for your day out. Listen, it will help you be so protective. I promise you. I promise you. Here's some things you want to watch out for because I can hear it. I can hear it. I can hear you right now. I can hear your thoughts screaming at me and you're like [inaudible] [inaudible] like this is not going to work. This is not enough. I could do more than that. I'm gonna do more than that app. This is just gonna waste my time. I'm telling you. Thoughts like that will be the reason why you don't finish this year strong. Okay? It's a trap. It's not true. Life and progress and momentum is all about like finding one baby step, taking that run in another one and taking it and continuing to take little small steps towards your big goal. I get it. I'm talking to me too because I have a habit of wanting to do all the things at once and get it over with. Like even for, uhm, I batch record my podcast and I was like, I'm going to record the rest of the episodes today. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. I'm going to record my usual four because I know it's going to happen. That fourth one is usually very difficult to do because I'm pushing it. So I'm just going to record the four episodes today and be done with it in October. We'll be done and then I can move on to November. If I feel like it later today, then I'll record November cause they're all planned in an outline. I just have to record them. But yeah, no, no, you like I, in my mind I felt like I could do all the things in realistically Omni to eat breakfast or some other things. I need to do Indians, my brain and my mouth is going to be tired after recording four episodes. So no, I also tell myself, okay, sure you can try to do all the things, but let's see if you can even do the first thing first. Like prove to me, prove to yourself that you can even do the first thing. Prove to yourself that you can do these five basics First and then after that if there's more you can do, didn't do that, but do not sit here and planning all of these things and like making it are pretty in your planner or putting it in your, your online calendar system. I know you, I see you. I am you. That's all I know how to talk to you. Don't do that. Don't spend all this time trying to make this like pretty graphic. And so you can keep track. You want to say organize. You can go to the website and download the printable or if you're already in the 90 day group, I sent it to you. So just go print it out. You will need to spend all of our time trying to do all these things that are just distracting us from our goals and making pretty planners and trying to like get your schedule together. It's just you procrastinating. It is a form of procrastination. It is a trap. The goal is to show up and do these basics. So, okay. Yeah. That is all I have for this episode. I cannot wait to hear your feedback. I will be in the Facebook group listening to the talking with the people as well as on Instagram talking to you about this week's challenge of following the basics. So that is all I have. Make sure you do something this week to show yourself some love, like these basics. Let me know on Instagram what you think. I will talk with you next week. Bye. For now. Basis. How is your productivity going? No, for Rio it's just you. I mean like tell me how is your productivity going? You feel like you're getting a lot done in a week or do you feel like you're just doing a lot in a lie and you're feeling burnt out? Still a little bit lonely, wishing you had people who were just as dedicated as you are, consistent as you are to showing up. We got the week to get things done. Then you have to join right away. Right away is my weekly accountability group where we have people just like you showing that every week to get it done. We meet on Sundays and Wednesdays are three hours each. You can choose to come either Sunday or Wednesday or both. You can come in for some time. We ask that people stay for the whole time, but we also know like life is real. Life happens and sometimes you have other things to do and so we have people who come in for maybe the first 30 minutes and then they leave and they come back. It is there for you. It is there as a community of people to encourage you, to support you. It is there to keep you accountable to what you say you're going to do week after week in class. We are always like holding each other down. We are supporting each other. We celebrate the small wins that like your family and friends don't get. Like they don't understand why it might have been exciting for you to find the perfect methodology or that perfect article that explains exactly what it is that you want to do for your dissertation. That's not us. We do that well. You were here to celebrate with you and then when you need someone to help keep you together, like call you to the carpet. We're there to to do that. So come to the website, check us out, enjoying now and you can go to my vet, like see back, calm. Click the red button in the top right corner, work with me and you'll find other information that you need there. I love this group. We've been going for almost a year now. You definitely, definitely should join.